The Chariot

Its been a hard summer, to put it mildly.

I lost two dear friends in June, and their deaths have rippled outward through my community and beyond. Death is always followed by the dredging of grief. It has been a time of painfully honest reflection as I look back on the choices that I have made in the past and how they have served and not served me. It has been a time of beholding the shadow.

And yet, I am still here. I am still alive. And I am fucking motivated.

I have always connected with the art of Tarot. To me, its a way for me to reconnect with the archetypes of human consciousness. The meditations that Tarot inspires in my life are extremely valuable to me. Recently, I drew The Chariot.

Labyrinthos describes The Chariot as follows:

“The Chariot tarot card depicts a figure sitting inside a vehicle that is being driven by two black and white sphinxes. The whole card has a bit of a celestial influence; the figure sits underneath a blue canopy adorned by white stars. On his shoulders, he carries the sign of the crescent moon, representing the spiritual influence under which he is guided. On his head sits a crown, meaning that he is enlightened, and that his will is pure. Emblazoned on his chest is a square, denoting the element of earth, of the material world, which grounds him and his actions.”

My tarot draws are never about telling the future. They are a mediation on the present. I was already spending 4 hours a day learning MA2. I was already clearing out my office and creating a better space for my work. This draw simply reminded me of the significance of the work.

My personal strength is my ability to integrate all aspects of myself into one human. I had to make hard choices to become that human. I gave up $100k a year in sales to do production because I believe that the world needs people who are willing to sweat for art. I got into lighting because to me light and shadow are sacred. They are yin and yang. You cannot have one without the other. The art of lighting design is a spiritual practice to me. I am so grateful that I get to work in a field that I have such a deep connection with.

So, every day from now on, I will be a better lighting designer than I was the day before. No longer will I sit back and complain about that which is not given to me. I will go out and get it. That is my locus of control. That is what I can do to help myself and help the world that I want to live in.

I call in the opportunities which were made for me. I honor myself and the practice by showing up with my full being to everything I do. I help the people around me become powerful without fear. That is who I am.

As always, thanks for reading <3

Sean